19.09.18 // Stop romanticizing the past. Stop thinking about the way he smelled on your pillow at three AM. Stop remembering how high you could get off her kiss. Stop wondering where it went wrong, or why it went wrong, or when. Start romanticizing yourself. Start staring in the mirror and telling yourself how the fire in your eyes is there, no matter how dim. Start wanting to hear the sound of your own laugh because it’s the most pure music you know. Start feeling your own heartbeat in the dead of night when nothing goes right. Stop fighting off tears. Stop feeling like this is over. You’re just beginning. Start crying at two in the morning, even though you’ll never understand why. Start talking to the ceiling and your pillow; they won’t betray you. Start listening to your own breathing when you fall asleep. It’s time to stop looking at what could have been because you should be all you will ever need. His cologne is a perk that you can live without. Her lipstick on your lips is a smudge that you can live without. Your joy? Your joy you cannot live without.
““I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.””
Please, keep looking. Not for a person, but for your passion, your love, your courage, your goals, your dreams, your happiness, yourself. Keep looking. Explore yourself before you explore another. Know your worth, know yourself. Only then will you know what you need over what you want. You need yourself to become your own.
I learned to be alone and not depend on anybody else’s presence to seek that fill of loneliness. I do get lonely but I learned to love being alone. I think that’s important in life.
